Brad Shreve 00:03
You’ve had that goal of accomplishing your dreams someday. And maybe that someday is today. I am Brad Shreve, and each week I sit with successful LGBTQ entertainers, activist politicians and average folk. And we learn what success means to them, how they made their goals a reality, so that you can do the same. For all that plus entertainment and more. You are in the right place, because Queer We Are. Hi, this is Brad Shreve and welcome to Queer We Are, I’ve got something a little different for you this week. I am the one being interviewer. Two months ago, I had Emma Goswell and Sam Walker as my guests. Emma is the host of the brilliant podcast Coming Out Stories, and Sam is the producer. We had a lot of fun. And if you haven’t listened to that already, I suggest you do so it was released on February 7, and that’s 2023 for you future people. But don’t do that right now. Or you’ll miss out here. Wait until this episode is over. To give you a taste of Coming Out Stories. I’m presenting an episode for you. I had the good luck to be Emma’s guest on her show. So I’m gonna play that for you now. So as they say, without further ado, I present to you Coming Out Stories

Emma Goswell 01:30
Well, thanks for choosing this podcast. This is Coming Out Stories with me I’m Emma Goswell. It’s brought to you by What Goes on Media. And we bring you inspiring LGBT plus stories every fortnight. Hey, do follow us on Twitter, we are @ comeoutstories and on Instagram via @ comingoutstoriespod. While this episode we are back in the States to meet Brad. He didn’t come out until his 30s by which stage he had married a woman and had a child. And he’s one of the few people that I’ve ever chatted to who opted to come out by sitting down and writing a good old fashioned letter. Time to meet Brad.

Brad Shreve 02:09
You know, it’s really hard for me to remember a time when I didn’t know, even though I didn’t know necessarily what it was. I mean, my earliest age, I remember looking at other boys and thinking he’s cute before I was 10. And then when I was probably around 10 I started getting a little bit of understanding. I’m the youngest of seven kids. So my older brothers and sisters, I hardly remember them at home, if at all. So my sisters would bring their boyfriends or husbands to the house and around 10 I was I guess I was lusting even though I didn’t know that that was it was either but I definitely was looking at them differently than I used to look at the cute boys. I would say that I probably knew knew 12 ish.

Emma Goswell 02:55
12 ish. Okay. Did you have any relationships? Because I know you went on to to live a straight life for quite a while, didn’t you?

Brad Shreve 03:03
Yes, I did. I didn’t have any relationships. Wow. Well, actually, my wife when I was in the 30s was the first relationship I had. I had tons of sex. Because I was in the closet that whole time up until the 30s. I did a lot of drinking and a lot of sex and kept it secret.

Emma Goswell 03:25
Let’s give this a time and a place then. So what decade are we talking when you were sort of in your teenage years and whereabouts were you?

Brad Shreve 03:32
Okay, I was in North Carolina. So I was in the south where everything is about appearances. Now my family’s from the north, but still in my family was everything is about appearances. So even though there was never any discussion, anti gay, I just knew it was wrong. You know, I will say my mom probably knew. We I’m sure you don’t, aren’t familiar with Donahue. But it was a daytime talk show that we had here. It was one of the earliest. And he frequently had gay people on and was in the 70s where they kind of were brought on almost like freaks. I mean, he wouldn’t do that. He was very open minded, but the audience was just terrible to them. But my mom and I would watch and I would be so related to them, even though they were treated terribly. And actually Victor Victoria, I remember watching that with my mother and we laughed through the whole thing. So there was that connection. But beyond that, it was all secretive to me. In the area that when I started school, it was overpopulated with with people my age. So I had to start a year late. They kind of said A through M starts this year and the rest of the alphabet you start next year, which meant my entire final year of high school. I was 18. So I was spending a lot of time in the video arcades in the adult bookstores. In fact, a few years later, I just recently had a meal with an old friend of mine from high school and I said, you remember when you guys kind of thought I was never dated at all, and probably were a virgin. I said, you know, the truth is I was probably having sex about 10 times more than you. Fortunately, you got a good laugh out of that.

Emma Goswell 05:14
So who were these sexual encounters with them? Was it other boys at your school? Or how was this happening? If it wasn’t really talked about at school,

Brad Shreve 05:22
it was anonymous. It was all anonymous sex, it would be in video arcades where you leave the door open, and somebody would come in and you would have sex. That was almost entirely it. I did have sex with one friend from high school. And I remember it being wonderful in the sense I was journaling at that time. And I remember writing in the journal that it didn’t feel dirty. It just felt right. But that didn’t change my attitude. I still thought no, this is wrong. And I can’t come out, I will change someday. And large part of my coming out was I kept telling myself as long as it’s only about sex, then I can get past this.

Emma Goswell 06:02
Was there any role models? Was there anybody that you knew when you were growing up? That was gay? Any people around you?

Brad Shreve 06:10
No, none. None that were open. I did end up working in the hotel industry. While I was just down in North Carolina and stereotypical there were a lot of people that were gay in those hotel industry. But I never got close to any of them. It was a very strange period. It was during the AIDS crisis. But because I was in North Carolina and closeted it was this thing that was going on elsewhere. There wasn’t as much fear with me, but I also kind of knew that these people were afraid of it. It was a very awkward period,

Emma Goswell 06:42
So, this was in the 1980s, then yeah,

Brad Shreve 06:44
yes, yes. And I will say, having acted out sexually. I mean, I was pretty crazy. And how I remained HIV negative is pure luck, pure luck.

Emma Goswell 06:56
So you weren’t having safe sex?

Brad Shreve 06:58
No, no, no, no, no, whatsoever.

Emma Goswell 07:00
Well, I guess you wouldn’t have had any education about that, would you? No, no, it actually wasn’t until probably the later 80s when they really were promoting condom use. So was there any bullying at school did other kids pick up on the fact that you might be gay and try and other you and make you feel different?

Brad Shreve 07:19
Some did, I was never called any kind of gay slur. I think people just thought I was weird for the most part. I was a great manipulator. So in my school was kind of small, there was only 200 of us. And so the jocks got along with the the heads who got along with the geeks, and we intermingled, but I was able to manipulate myself manipulate things that my teachers loved me, I was president of the senior class. But at the same time, I felt totally, like in a bubble, because I wasn’t the same. And I had this horrible thing that I had that I wanted to go away.

Emma Goswell 07:53
So you weren’t a jock than I imagined someone called Brad would have been a jock. I don’t think Thank you. Here in the UK, we just hear the word Brad, which is imagine that you’re like the sort of, you know, the prom king or whatever they call them. And you are the like the popular guy. That’s that’s a Brad, in our opinion, I think

Brad Shreve 08:11
Here in the U.S. there’s two stereotypes with Brad on television in the movies. They’re either exactly like you described, or a total geek or a villain. Soap operas are usually the villain.

Emma Goswell 08:23
So no, no bullying is such but I guess you didn’t feel comfortable enough to verbalize the fact that you were gay and having sexual encounters with men while you’re at school. You didn’t tell anyone?

Brad Shreve 08:34
No, I didn’t tell a soul. I did not tell a soul in. Oh my gosh, I would guess I was probably close to 30. At one time in North Carolina had a roommate who was a lesbian. And we met in Kansas City, in the middle of the country one time, and she admitted to me that she was a lesbian. And I said, I know because you and Hannah were side by side at all times. And I admitted to her I was gay. And she was shocked. Later, she talked to Hannah, who said, Well, yeah, Brad was gay. He hooked up with one of the other guys at the hotel where we worked and he told everybody, so I wish I had known that but I didn’t.

Emma Goswell 09:16
So it was something that would really wasn’t talked about then.

Brad Shreve 09:20
No, it wasn’t discussed at all. I will say in the hotel, we used to joke about gay people wishing in a in a mean way, is kind of the way gay people joke about now you’re making fun of the stereotype. So it was kind of an acceptance, but making fun of the whole, probably the life that they lived. It wasn’t like a mean attack. That was as close to talking about LGBTQ people at all.

Emma Goswell 09:45
So how did you go from, you know, all these different men to then marrying a woman had How did that come about?

Brad Shreve 09:53
Well, I decided there was a time that I needed to come out. I needed to come out and I knew I couldn’t do it. It was a midsize city in North Carolina, we did have a gay even though I had no idea where it was. And I decided I wanted to transfer so I moved to checked out some different cities to transfer to. And my top two choices was Boston or Atlanta, because I knew they had great gay communities I would finally be able to come out. So when it came time to transfer, some I really can’t explain it. I wound up transferring to Nebraska. And I still stayed very much in the closet out in farm country, and I was working, the company I worked for I was still in the hotel industry, but I was no longer in the hotel, I was a trainer. And I was training this young woman who I can, I can tell you 100% I am gay. But I can also tell you, I did fall in love with her, and madly in love with her.

Emma Goswell 10:48
So you never described yourself as bisexual, or pansexual

Brad Shreve 10:51
for a short time, when I first came out to her. And before I came up to her, I was seeing a therapist at the LGBT Center in Las Vegas. But it was it was almost a shack at that time. But they did have a grant to have a therapist on staff. And when I first came out, he said you boy, I think you’re one of the few bisexual people I’ve ever known. But I’m not bisexual, I acted bisexually but no.

Emma Goswell 11:19
But you’ve managed to fall in love with a woman that’s quite, that’s quite quite interesting, isn’t it that you totally identify as gay now. But you did fall in love with one woman.

Brad Shreve 11:27
I did fall in love with one woman we had so much in common. And we were even born on the same day. And we just were we were really good friends. And we had a lot of sex because even though I’m gay, you know what guys it it still feels good. It’s not the same connection that I have now, but knew but it was good.

Emma Goswell 11:51
And then you went on to have a family as well. So you went on to live a straight life essentially?

Brad Shreve 11:55
Yes, we were married for five years. And in our third year of marriage, we consciously made a decision to have a kid and I remember the day that we had unprotected sex to get her pregnant. And I it’s almost obvious that that was the day that it happened. But when she did the test and saw that she was pregnant, she immediately had to rush to work. And I sat on the bed and I remember thinking to myself, Oh my God, my life has changed. And I am really stuck in this life. This is it.

Emma Goswell 12:31
So it felt regretful

Brad Shreve 12:34
regretful and exciting at the same time. It’s hard for me to say I have regrets because I do have this incredible young woman as my daughter and she truly is one of the best people I ever met.

Emma Goswell 12:47
And how old is she now then?

Brad Shreve 12:49
She’s 24.

Emma Goswell 12:50
Wow, she’s got an interesting, interesting story to say about her parents that doesn’t she?

Brad Shreve 12:55
Yes, actually. She actually went to university in your neck of the woods, in Huddersford, which I know is between

Emma Goswell 13:04

Brad Shreve 13:06
Yeah, Huddersfield, I know it’s between Manchester and Leeds.

Emma Goswell 13:09
Yeah, in Yorkshire.

Brad Shreve 13:10
Yep. And she’s now in Germany and getting her Master’s. And she even spent internship in I want to say Lithuania to help them develop the first Baltic Pride. So I have a tremendous amount of pride in her for

Emma Goswell 13:26
how? Well I guess she has to come out all the time as well and say that she’s got a gay dad.

Brad Shreve 13:31
I think so. I don’t know. quite honest. Because of the distance and other things. We weren’t as close as I would like to be. We’ve kind of became more close as adults. But when she was visiting my husband and I, and she showed me the Father’s Day was Father’s Day, and she showed me the card and said to my two dads. I said oh my god, Maurice is gonna love this and she said, I know. So she gets it. She totally gets it.

Emma Goswell 13:44
She totally gets it. Wow. So you were married, though for a few years. So the outside world you were living this nucular family life and you were straight. And did that feel uncomfortable to you? Or are you just happy to be in relationship and have a child,

Brad Shreve 14:13
it was uncomfortable and comfortable. At the same time I really enjoyed my career was going great. It was prestigious, and we had a nice house. And that was all good. And it was very domestic, which is the thing we’re supposed to do. And so I felt good about that. But I also my attraction towards men was just more and more and more greater. And so I did go to the gay and lesbian center privately and I started talking to this therapist. And I did end up joining a men’s group which was huge. It was absolutely huge men’s group. And there were a lot of men in their 70s and 80s. And they all would tell me basically they they waited till their wives died before they came out, and was very sad. And I want to ask him, you know, would you do that the same? And they’re like, that’s impossible to answer. It’s a whole different world. But I knew I didn’t want that to happen. I thought, what if she finds out when I’m when we’re 70?

Emma Goswell 15:14
So she didn’t know when he got together that you’d had all these men previously?

Brad Shreve 15:17
Oh, no, she knew I had a lot of sex. But assumed it was with women. Because she was very sexually active as well. So we joked around about that.

Emma Goswell 15:24
So she had no idea that she was getting into a relationship with a gay man.

Brad Shreve 15:28
None, none. It’s funny that she said to after I did come out to her a few days later, she said, You know, I should have known because you always put your hand over your mouth when you laugh, and you’d like to drink Frou Frou drinks.

Emma Goswell 15:39
Is that a sign? I’ve picked up on that previously.

Brad Shreve 15:45
And I also said, you know, you’re probably going to be worried in the future if you are attracted to a man and want to get in relationship that this could happen again. And I said, so here’s the secret. Watch his eyes. If you ever watched me in the mall, you would have known where my eyes were. And she said, Thank you, that’s very helpful to know.

Emma Goswell 16:03
So there must have been a day where you had to come out to her, then you had to come out to your wife and say, Actually, I’m more interested in men.

Brad Shreve 16:12
Yes, and I can tell you exactly how that happened. We lived in Las Vegas, and my wife and my daughter went back east to visit her family. And it happened to be the same exact weekend, a man I knew in Phoenix, was in Las Vegas for Bowling Tournament. And he was openly gay. And he took me to gay bars throughout the city, we kind of bar hopped, and I had been in gay bars before, but it just kind of sat there. And it was kind of this creepy in the corner kind of thing. You know, kind of more like what people lived in the 50s. You know, this is seedy. This was the first time I was really out and I experienced it. I say it was the first time I experienced life as a gay man. And I never felt so alive. It was absolutely amazing. And I told myself, just before she came back, I don’t think I’m ever going to I can’t go back to that I can go back to what I used to live. So one day I just said to her, I said me you had a dream about a friend of yours, and that you had sex and you said, gosh, I wonder if I’m a lesbian, you kind of brushed it off. Well, you know what, I kind of have those same dreams. And they’re kind of stronger than what you were having. And she said, Are you saying you’re gay? And yeah, she was devastated. Of course, I worked in home to tell industry. So I went and checked into the hotel for the night. But she was also absolutely incredible. Now, it wasn’t long after that, that Las Vegas had a National Coming Out Day celebration, they had a big fair almost. She took my daughter with me there.

Emma Goswell 17:55
And this was not long after he’d come out her.

Brad Shreve 17:56
Not long after I came out. She’s very wise. And it reminds me why I fell in love with her. What she said was, if we want our daughter to grow up and love and respect who she is, we have to do the same. And that’s why I want her to learn.

Emma Goswell 18:12
She sounds like an incredible woman, I can see why I might be attracted to.

Brad Shreve 18:15
Yes. And also, our divorce was very amicable. We wrote out a divorce agreement and gave it to the lawyer and said write this on legalese. And that’s what they did. And, you know, she said, you know, in certain circumstances, I probably would move away and never see you again. But our daughter, we’re going to be connected the rest of our lives. So you know what we might as well be friends. And you are. Oh, yeah. Things went sour. And it had nothing to do with my being gay. There were there were other issues. But she was incredibly supportive.

Emma Goswell 18:47
Gosh, so she took it on the chin basically, and accepted it and moved on and accepted a divorce.

Brad Shreve 18:53
Yeah, and I will say the one other incredible thing she said is, I know nobody else knows. And I’m gonna let you do it on your time when you’re ready. She told her family, and but she didn’t tell anyone in my family or my friends. She was the first person I really came out to other than people that I had sex with and kind of developed friendships with but not deep, lasting relationships.

Emma Goswell 19:17
So did you go on to tell your family?

Brad Shreve 19:20
I told my family long afterwards. I would say I told my family at least 10 to 15 years later.

Emma Goswell 19:28

Brad Shreve 19:29
Yeah, I called some friends and told them and they were all great. And I was thinking how do I tell my family when there’s seven kids and we all live in different states and my dad lived in a different states. There’s eight states. And I don’t want to tell one and have it go through the grapevine. So I thought maybe I should write them all a letter. Probably going through the grapevine would have been easier for me, but I wrote a letter to each of them. And I called a friend and said, What do you think of this idea? You know, I came out to you And her response was, you know, I still love you. But when you told me I had to worry about, you know, what’s surprising that I had to worry about how am I going to react? So I think if you wrote a letter, they don’t have to worry about how they react in front of you. And it’ll give them time.

Emma Goswell 20:15
That’s a very good point. I never thought of that before.

Brad Shreve 20:19
The sad thing is, even though they are very close now, and they fully embrace who my who I am, and they love my husband dearly. After I sent those letters, nobody contacted me for one year.

Emma Goswell 20:22

Brad Shreve 20:24

a year, a year, Brad?

Brad Shreve 20:38
A year

Emma Goswell 20:39
That must have hurt, right?

Brad Shreve 20:41
It hurt tremendously unbelievable. And I wasn’t getting along with my dad at the time, so I had no relationship with him. I, I will say the one odd thing is my ex wife said that he told her, wow that must have been really hard for Brad to have to keep that secret all those years, which is very odd that he would say that to her, but would never have said that to me. And the only reason we got back together and I saw them was when my dad was dying. And we all got down there. He was in South Carolina, and we all got down there to be with him.

Emma Goswell 21:14
And what did they say to you then? Was it mentioned?

Brad Shreve 21:18
Either nothing was said, I did learn that the reason why some did not reach out to me as they were mad at me. Not upset that I was gay. They thought I should have waited to my dad died. And I was dumbfounded by that. In fact, I had lunch with one of my siblings one day, and I said, What was the deal with like that, and she said, You should have waited till dad died. And listen, first of all, if I wanted to hurt him, I didn’t like dad. So I wouldn’t have cared. But that wasn’t the whole point of it. I want dad to know who I was before he died. And I can’t believe you think there’s anything wrong with that. And she said, While I still think he should have waited, I think several and still think that way.

Emma Goswell 22:02
But the seven of them, right? You got seven siblings

Brad Shreve 22:06
There are five left, but the seven of total in the beginning.

Emma Goswell 22:09
But they all seem to think the same, then they all decided not to contact you. And they all decided that you’d done it too early. Even though you waited till you were 35

Brad Shreve 22:18
Yeah. And they knew I mean, for awhile, I lived 80 miles east of San Francisco and I had family members come visit me and I would go and spend time with them in San Francisco and I kind of knew where things were a little more than they thought I would. And when I moved to LA My brother came to visit me. And the house I was renting a room in had a rainbow flag out front and my eventual partner lived in the guesthouse in the back and the landlord said, I think Brad’s out back. And so when he knocked on the door, my, my partner came out just wearing a towel and said his that you honey. So I found out about that later, but they kind of figured it out. Yes. But again, it was never discussed in my family was very much we don’t discuss things

Emma Goswell 23:04
and say do you did send the letter to your dad as well, then?

Brad Shreve 23:07
Yeah, yes

Emma Goswell 23:08
. Indeed, he didn’t respond either.

Brad Shreve 23:10
No, no, they all got the same letter, except the first paragraph was changed a little bit to make it more personal.

Emma Goswell 23:19
And how long did it take you to craft that letter, then you must have thought about it quite a lot.

Brad Shreve 23:23
That writing the letter did not actually take that long mailing the letter took forever. And even when I finally got to the post office, I paced in the lobby of the post office. I would guess no exaggeration, it was at least an hour before I finally went to the slot, threw him in and said To hell with it.

Emma Goswell 23:44
I can just imagine the thoughts were going through your head then.

Brad Shreve 23:48
Oh, I was terrified. I was terrified. But also knew once it was in that slot, there was no turning back.

Emma Goswell 23:54
So you haven’t mentioned your mom? Was she not around? She passed?

Brad Shreve 23:57
My mom died right after I was high school about two years after I was in high school. So she died. 1984.

Emma Goswell 24:04
Yeah, so definitely wouldn’t have got told to then.

Brad Shreve 24:07
No. No, I wish that I could have told her I think she would have been very loving about it, but didn’t have that opportunity. I think she knew

Emma Goswell 24:16
what mothers always do. I do find that I’ve spoken to a lot of people who told their mothers or their mothers basically got them to come out with it because they knew.

Brad Shreve 24:24
Yeah, they do say that. And like I said, we watched Victor Victoria and she and I were the only one that would talk openly about gay people. But it was never about me, but about them. Because I was still in an era where people were just starting to accept gay people and see them more openly. Maybe on TV show. It’s not sure they even though they were usually the clown.

Emma Goswell 24:45
So you said what’s in the hotel industry, but what about other careers you’ve had? Did you feel like you were able to be out and proud at work wherever you were?

Brad Shreve 24:53
Well, I stayed in the hotel industry for 20 years. And after I came out, I came out Las Vegas and then I transferred to a new office that the hotel company worked with open the one that was 80 miles from San Francisco. And it was a great job, but my superior was openly gay. So I did very quickly come out to him. And eventually other people in the office, other executives in the office learn and eventually it got down to my staff. And now it’s all okay, everybody was cool with that was interesting as other people higher up that were my level in the corporation, throughout the country and different offices, they did not know and how I came up to them was very funny. We were in Puerta Vallarta for a conference. And a group of us went, I shouldn’t say it’s a Mexican restaurant, let’s say a local restaurant, because to them, it’s just food from went to this restaurant, and we’re doing lots of shots. And for people in the positions and ages that we were we shouldn’t have done it. But we start playing truth or dare. And it came up, somebody’s asked me if you could have sex with anyone at this table who would it be?

Emma Goswell 26:11
Oh, awful thing to play with colleagues.

Brad Shreve 26:15
And I looked at my boss, and he just shrugged and smiled at me like it’s up to you. And there was this guy from our Saudi Arabia office of all things, who I thought was so hot. And I can’t remember his name. But I said him and he backed up shocked, and everybody was, you’re gay? And I said, Yeah, I am. I am. And then I got all the questions about, you know, how do you decide who’s the man who’s the woman, you know, there’s kind of crazy questions that you get.

Emma Goswell 26:46
So you have a word.

Brad Shreve 26:47
What’s funny, the guy from Saudi Arabia, we ended up going to this it was the biggest club in Puerto Vallart. It’s not there anymore was called Paco Paco, multilevel packed, and we all went as a group and I was the one he was going to be protected. Like, he was backed up against the bar and he was like, please, please help me I don’t want I don’t want a by grabbing my ass. I said I think standing there at the bar you kind of look unapproachable. I think you’re fine.

Emma Goswell 27:20
Wow. But then you see sounds like you’ve got your happy ending. And it sounds like you’ve had a lot of heartache with your family. But you found your true family and you met your happily ever after you are now married, right?

Brad Shreve 27:32
Yeah, I, I went through a lot of bad eggs to get there. But it makes me really appreciate the man I’ve had we we’ve been together 18 years we consider ourselves married 17 years, even though it wasn’t legal at that time, we had a ceremony. We did when it became legal have a ceremony, I couldn’t even tell you what that day is. And I don’t care to us. That was just a paper we can make to get all the legal stuff. And you know that the benefits that we should get. That first little ceremony that we had, that is our wedding day and always will be.

Emma Goswell 28:04
be oh, how fabulous. How wonderful. So any, any advice to people listening to this, who maybe have not made the brave move yet and come out to a partner or come out to family and advice about how to live your true life.

Brad Shreve 28:23
An important thing to me is when you come out has to be on your time. And don’t feel pressured. But don’t hold back either. Make sure it’s the right time. And I don’t like the campaign. It Gets Better campaign. I do think for most of it does get better, but then plays like to me as soon as somebody comes out. They’re supposed to be expected, like, you know, rainbows and unicorns, and life is great.

Emma Goswell 28:47
Oh, no, no.

Brad Shreve 28:48
And not everybody’s in a safe environment that they can do that. And so I will say this, the best advice that I can give to somebody that has not come out and especially if they’re younger. I went to the LGBT Center before I came out, and it was once a place I could go I went to meetings that really helped. But the Trevor Project is an organization that I it’s the one of the few charities I give regularly money to. They are known for suicide hotline for LGBTQ kids. But they have an international organization with 400,000 kids that is a network where they could still be in the closet. But online, they can network with each other. They can talk about wanting to come out. It’s just an incredible thing that they have. So if you want to come out but you’re afraid there are resources there and look for them and take advantage of those.

Emma Goswell 29:42
So kids in the UK could use this then they fixed about yes they can.

Brad Shreve 29:45
Yes, I made sure that before I mentioned

Emma Goswell 29:49
Well, while sat down because I’ve know very well about the Trevor Project, but I didn’t realize that people across the world could access it as well because obviously there are plenty of charities and organizations within the UK which are Excellent, but it’s great to hear that there’s there are some international ones as well. So wherever you are growing up or feeling isolated you could access that we’ve only got access to the internet, you can access like minded people. Right?

Brad Shreve 30:12
Exactly it. I think their suicide hotline is U.S. only, but the the actual network name and that is global. I have one word that I use a philosophy for everything, because coming out can be difficult. I’m going to toss it out there even though it doesn’t necessarily specifically have to do it. And I like to tell people that every morning is the opportunity to yell, Do Over

Emma Goswell 30:34
is the option to do what sorry,

Brad Shreve 30:36
say Do Over. I don’t know if that’s a term that you’re…

Emma Goswell 30:40
no, I never heard that one.

Brad Shreve 30:42
When you’re a kid, when you’re playing a game and you fail to catch ball or whatever. You yell Do Over really quickly. And it doesn’t count. You get to try again. I liked that. Yeah. So if things go wrong, just get up in the morning, say do over and go on from there.

Emma Goswell 31:00
Pick yourself up and start again. Yep. For people that aren’t aware, you are a podcaster as well. So just tell us very quickly about about your podcast that people could access as well.

Brad Shreve 31:10
Absolutely. It’s called Queer We Are. And I interview LGBTQ, prominent individuals, entertainers, athletes, activists, and so on and regular people. It’s all about success, and how they got there. And the important thing is, I tried to make sure it’s not a success or being true to yourself podcast in the sense of, you can do it, you can do it or anything new age is just good conversation. I think anybody will find entertaining, but we do talk about how the individual got, what they where they were, and the obstacles they overcame. So that’s the huge part of the conversation. And one important thing is, money is not everyone’s key to success, it can be some and that’s okay. So each individual is allowed to touch and say, what their definition of successes, Queer We Are, It’s son every app or queer we

Emma Goswell 32:11
Cheers, Brad, so good to talk to you. And just to confirm those details about the Trevor Project, you can access their website via the Trevor Project, all one And there you can find loads of resources actually, for all different types of support, whether you’re worried about your sexuality, your gender identity, or your mental health in general. And you can find Brad’s podcast by looking for Queer We Are wherever you get your podcasts, or simply go to queer we And please do do that because producer Sam and I have been interviewed for a recent episode. Now we’ll be releasing that right here by coming out stories too. And do check it out because you rarely get the chance to hear from producer Sam. And it’s really fun discussion, so do not miss it.

Brad Shreve 33:44
I’m a regular listener to Coming Out Stories now. And I can tell you from listening to their podcast, everyone has a different tale. And all their stories are interesting. Some make you laugh, some make you cry, and some make you do both. So check out the show wherever you listen to this podcast. Or you can go to the website coming out stories But definitely, don’t miss out. Check it out.

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